I love reading back into my entries from significanty trying times of my life. Late summer 14 was one of those, this is another. Every area of my life is going through some level of transition. It's been such an insane time of analyzing the importance of small moments and big roles in my life. I've been doing better in handling it than I originally expected myself to and I am so glad. Trying to go through a season of radical change while trying to help others walk through it as well creates a lot of mixed feelings. But I feel like I've finally figured out how to navigate them. (mostly ;)
Anyway I found this entry from early February and I am so grateful for the inner growth that's taken place since.
"It's a Tuesday in February. I'm sitting next to a pile of used tissues and wondering if the sinus medicine will ever kick in. Perhaps it won't. I've been spending an extra amount of time this week reading blogs or articles or quotes or books that deal with matters of the mind and heart. Unsurprisingly it's been what's entertained nearly all of my thoughts this week as well.
To say that my life is changing would be a massive understatement. However to say that everything in my life is being turned upside down and pulled in all directions would be a massive exaggerration. Emotionally though, the second statement rings far more truthful than the first.
The past two months leading up to this day have been spent in wallowing in my sadness of the change and letting my heart flip flop between needing the change to hurry up and happen and wanting to prolong the process as much as possible. Lucklily I have 0% control of that. The past 7 days though have been spent trying to connect the change to my heart. Finding the right cords to connect to the right areas so that I am changing with it and not fighting it. It's made me quieter. Shallow conversations have required double the effort. Sleeping has been something I've had to fight for."
I'm happy to report that I am now sleeping soundly once again and doing much better than before! (but just in case don't prod me with questions....)
"Honest is Hottest" was one of my joking new years resolution and it seems to come easiest here on the blog.
Happy Tuesday, everyone!